Steam Librarian is an on going series in which I, QuizzyQuin, discuss and review the plethora of untouched games I’ve accrued over the years in an attempt to catch on past purchases.
Wild West duels in Westerns are as commonplace as explosions in a Michael Bay film. If you plan on seeing a Western, you ultimately plan on watching a scene where two cow-folk stare each other down until the clock strikes high noon and the better gun walks away. Eventually, someone had the idea to turn this into a game. How was this done? By seeing who could press 10 random buttons the fastest!
Western Press‘s premise is simple: Press the buttons faster than the other guy, and you win. What sounds simple at first quickly turns into a frantic dash to look, process, and slam the appropriate bits until you clock in before your opponent.
And, uh, that’s it.
It truly is the definition of oversimplification, so much so that I beat Western Press in less than an hour. Though that is not to imply the game was easy; once the difficulty of the A.I. was cranked to hard, I felt the burn both in my cramping hands and the scorn of the announcer proclaiming my folly as a gun-toting cowpoke.
The high point of the single player campaign was the final level, in which you face off with the best in the west under a dramatic sunset. The announcer does not tell you when the race begins and I sat quietly, intently, eager to face off. The worst part is that’s the only time that happens. Perhaps it would have devalued the moment if it had occurred for every stage, but something with similar characteristics, no count down or canned laughter for every quirky retort made by the characters, would have been nice.
Aside from a short bout against the A.I., the multiplayer was… nonexistent. It didn’t come as a surprise that I didn’t find anyone to play with, but I did find a bit of crude humor in seeing ‘NO SERVERS’ placed in large font across the browser. Although local multiplayer is available, I couldn’t find it in myself to petition a friend to join me in my goblin hole (aka my home) for what would have amounted to 20 minutes of play.
All in all, I would not say Western Press is bad. However, it’s not the best either. I will describe it as mediocre, it set out to do one thing and did that, end of story. No twists, no secrets (as far as I know), no incredible depths of extra content, just cowboys and cowgirls shooting each other after 10 button presses. Would I buy this for $5? No. I happened to acquire this game in a pack from Humble Bundle and I can’t say I was displeased. There is a lot you can do with $5 and there are many, MANY games worth the price. This isn’t necessarily one of them.
Oh yeah! I forgot to mention there’s Steam Workshop support, so you can play as Pepe the Frog if you’re into that sort of thing. Or Mr. Game and Watch, but I couldn’t be bothered to try out either of them since it wouldn’t have won me over in the end.